Millie has a tissue issue!

Millie under my desk
when I'm writing,
 and there's not room for two.

My dog, Millie, is supposed to be a Maltese and Shih Tzu mix, but I often wonder if she is part bloodhound and wily coyote, too. Her nose (sense of smell) is off the charts good, and she is sneaky.

Millie has a tissue issue. Not toilet paper, but tissues for your nose. In her eight years of running my house and me, she’s never pulled a tissue from its box and ate it, but she will eat them unused or used (sorry about the image that just grossed you out), if they are outside the box. Her bloodhound nose will lead her to them just as soon as one is pulled from a box and the scent hits the air. Yes, we could say that it’s my fault for leaving tissues where she can harvest them, but it is difficult staying one step ahead of Millie. Finding tissues is always on her mind. Eating them fast is her talent. She has no qualms about nosing in small trashcans to yank one out or pull them from a jacket or pant pocket if they are within reach. 

 

I came home from a writer’s meeting one night and stepped out of my jeans, letting them fall on the floor. Normally, I put clothing away, but that night I did not. With my sinus issues, I went to the meeting prepared by stuffing a tissue in one pocket and a paper towel in another for sweat dabbing, as needed. I didn’t use either. 

 

The next morning, after Millie ate her breakfast, she went MIA. By this stage in her game, I know that her absence means nothing good. Usually, it means there could be an escaped tissue somewhere in the house, and she has gone in for the kill. I was almost to my bedroom door when Millie raced out and passed me like something was chasing her. It was guilt. Guilt was chasing her. The minute I walked through the door, I saw the remains of a tissue on the floor next to my forgotten jeans. I had interrupted her feast. 

 

Millie sleeps in my bedroom. I am certain that she schemed on extracting the tissue all night long, until 5a.m. arrived, when I left the bedroom and my coffee distracted me. 

 

I wish she could answer these questions?

 

• Why do you eat disgusting things?
• Do tissues taste like vanilla? 
• Did you dream about the yummy goodness of a good tissue all night?
• Or did you stay awake all night with excitement? 
• Lastly, would you consider a career as a rescue dog IF I made sure that the people needing rescuing will stuff a tissue in their pocket before things happen?

Millie is sometimes a mess, but she is a perfect mess. 

 

T.